Do you ever wonder why you do what you do? Why do you feel compelled to do some things and repelled by others. I wonder these things more often than most I suspect. As a social work intern I do all kinds of things and get to watch others do things and although this seems weirdly vague it comes back to fibular hemimelia pretty handily.
For one, why do I write on this blog? Why do I feel compelled to speak our truth? Why do I share? One reason is venting and connecting for sure but another, a deep intent is to help others get what they need. I knew early on that fibular hemimelia parents needed support because I am one and I needed support.
Over time though it became clear that it’s not just fibular hemimelia families that need support. All parents do. Then I realized it’s not just parents that need support. It’s all people. It’s all human beings. It’s all beings.
In terms of parenting I feel like the rise of mommy bloggers and their success illustrates this well but sometimes they veer too far into the complaining about how hard parenting is zone and that can be annoying. Especially as a mom that handles more than the usual mom stuff and manages to mostly not complain. That sounds like judgement and maybe it is but I can’t help it. Yes parenting is hard but if we focus on the hard we can really miss the joy. Not that I am against venting as a whole! And what I realized after hitting publish is that everyone has something! Something weighing on their heart. Something they are working out or wondering about. Maybe their kids don’t have an obvious difference. Maybe they are caring for an aging parent. Maybe they have work stress. Who knows. What I do know is that judgment is as wrong in this place as it is anywhere else. Judging others isn’t going to make me feel better about what is happening in my life or make it less stressful.
Connection is such a big thing for me and I know it is for others too. There is nothing like someone saying “Me too!!!!” when I share my feelings. It totally makes my heart feel like it’s going to overflow. I know that is not unique. We all want to be understood.
The other reason and original intent of this blog was to help other parents find what they need. To help them know there are options. To help them understand that they can ask questions of their child’s doctor. They can ask and tell! They are the expert on their child.
The connection/venting reason is big lately though. Taking Nick to a new doctor has been interesting. Seeing someone else’s take and a fresh set of eyes is cool and having a partner in the ExoSym adventure is awesome. Dr. Nichols was trained at RIAO so it’s not a big jump and Dr. Standard totally supports families partnering with their local docs. Dr. Nichols is special though. She is a stand alone expert at this point. I would not have known how good she was had I not taken Nick to her and seen her in action. She also happened to help me when I needed it most. Christopher needed a consult with a neurologist and Dr. Nichols helped make that happen with the right person. We are still figuring things out and it may be that he just needs some pt but we just don’t know. I hate not knowing and I hate not sharing and that is why I am writing it here. I need to tell the truth. Life is crazy and getting crazier but I will leave additional crazy for another post.
Maybe the “why” does not matter. Connection, venting, information sharing… what ever the reason I feel compelled to do this. I hope it feels worth reading!