Ever been surprised by something that happens over and over? This blog and the Fibular Hemimelia and Limb Lengthening Awareness group surprise me over and over again. Writing and sharing last weeks post Dear Anger was so cathartic for me. Maybe writing in a journal would have the same effect. I don’t know.
What I do know is that writing in a journal would not touch my heart like sharing my blog post in the support group does. Knowing that I am not alone in my feelings is such a healing experience. I wish I had written and shared sooner.
I am not angry anymore. Nor do I feel depressed. I accepted the sadness and was able to move on. I move on though knowing that the sadness is not gone forever and that’s totally ok. A wise friend and I discussed it being ok to feel bad and she suggested I read Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore. I haven’t had the chance to yet but I did start researching it a bit and I expect it is just what I need right now.
“How many times do we lose an occasion for soul work by leaping ahead to final solutions without pausing to savor the undertones? We are a radically bottom-line society, eager to act and to end tension, and thus we lose opportunities to know ourselves for our motives and our secrets.”
― Thomas Moore,
I believe it’s hard not to look to ends and solutions. Staying in the moment of something that isn’t what you want is hard. It’s soul work and it’s what life really is.
There is nothing wrong with feeling bad at times. Lesson learned… again. I expect it to be re-learned again. I hope I can remember to savor the undertones which come from a great many things within a life as rich as mine is… and all of ours are.
Up Next… a post that is actually about fibular hemimelia and an update on Nick’s pre op appointment which is today!