Today’s not an easy day for me. Nick is comfortable right now. I am typing one handed on my phone. A migraine was the start of my morning and a surprising amount of pain from my small surgery. I should know by now that small surgery is an oxymoron. I had an area where a new mole had been removed excised. I can’t lift anything heavier than a fork for two weeks with my right arm. Using my hand at all hurts like hell right now. Nick just opened my yogurt for me and said “Wow now we both need help. Poor Dad”. I wish this surgery could have waited.
Speaking of Steven, he tried to take the kids to a local museum today but Nick was in too much pain on the ride there so they came home. I was sleeping off my migraine so the whole thing confused me.
One consequence of my surgery is that I can’t take Nicholas for his follow up on Monday. It’s been ages since I wasn’t there for an appointment. I know in my head it’s no big deal but it’s always been our thing. I don’t like feeling like I can’t do what I need or want to. It’s a tiny window into Nick’s world I guess. And this is only two weeks.
Right now I am just hurting. I have to change my bandage dressing with my clumsy left hand. I am in the post migraine haze and I am supposed to be working on a 30 minute oral presentation for school. I just cant. I can’t do everything. At least not today. Maybe this lesson was a long time coming.
And we found out our dog probably has cancer. Till right before Nick’s surgery he was a really healthy dog. It’s heart breaking. Mostly though we don’t want him to suffer and now I feel like he is, at times at least.
I hope to make my next post more positive. Today is just an it is what it is, kind of day.
Update: Two super kind friends offered solutions to me not being able to go with Nick to his appointment. One offered drive down with me and another offered to keep the rest if the crock Steven and I could both go. Both offers were declined because Nicholas said he’s looking forward to a day with dad and he wants me to rest and relax. He just blows me away my boy! And so do my friends. Sadness is lessened by love and gratitude!