Nick does not want to leave Sinai.

Another surgery done. Yesterday Dr. Standard and company put an eight plate in Nicks’s knee, took out the 7 screw plate from the summer and took care of some adhesions that were causing pain for Nick from time to time. I was super happy Nick had nurse Harriet with him. The sight of her is such a comfort to me and Chris Fisher was in surgery with him as well.

Having so many familiar and trusted people taking care of my boy is wonderful. Chris walked me out of the or when I left Nick asleep. It was nice that he did because I might have cried had I walked alone. Chatting a little was a nice distraction. We talked about how violent orthopedic surgery actually is and the fact that the equipment used is similar to what could be found out in our tool shed. Nick use to ask for details on what Dr. Standard was going to do. I never asked for too much info but I am sometimes curious. I imagine it being loud in the or with drills and such going. I guess it’s pretty gross to consider so I’ll stop now.

We are having a pretty nice morning. I am kind of leaning Nick’s way and not wanting to go home. Except I really, really miss my other three children. Other than that we could stay. We’ve got nurses making sure Nick is comfortable and ok and a lovely lunch menu to choose from and it’s quiet and there’s cable and we even slept pretty well last night.

Maybe we are too good at making the most of it? Still we’ve got to go. Nicholas does not need to stay. His pain is under control and his leg looks good (according to Brian one of Dr. Standards new residents). Brian is new to us but may not be terribly new. Hard to tell. He was great with Nick and we had an interesting chat about zombies which has given me a whole new perspective on them and the fact that they are not as altogether impossible as I had thought they were. Despite his sharing that unfortunate zombie info with me I liked him a lot.

Nicholas had asked Dr. Standard Thursday if he would have to do physical therapy and walk right away and Dr. Standard said no so we’re good to go and Nick was so relieved. Dr. S said Nick can continue to do things his own way at his own pace. It is great that Nick has that control and Dr. S knows him enough to know he’ll get moving when he’s ready.

We and a brief visit from a family with an adorable little 15month old in his first fixator. It was nice to get to chat with them. We had met over the summer during the arm break/leg healing phase. I remember so well when Nick was a baby and we were here for his first surgery. Nothing since has ever been as hard as that. I hope that talking to Nick and I helped some. It’s hard to be at the beginning but that little boy was so beautiful and eager to get down and move around! I am sure he’ll do great and god willing his mom and dad will look back like I do and feel that the hardest part is behind them too. The light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter with each surgery behind us and thankfully today it doesn’t feel like an oncoming train (thanks Gretchen for that reference from so many years ago on the yahoo group it’s so fitting I never forget it or the support you and so many others gave me).

4 thoughts on “Nick does not want to leave Sinai.”

  1. Jen, I know exactly how you feel today. Anya never wants to leave the hospital, either. She tells everyone, “It’s like a vacation for me! I get to sit around in bed, watch TV, and eat ice cream all day! Anything I want, I press a button, and the nurses bring it to me!” As crazy as it sounds to outsiders, it’s probably a good thing our kids enjoy the hospital, since they spend so much time there!

    Leaving always gives me mixed emotions. I feel a little hesitant about leaving the medical support behind, and like you, am always anxious to get home to the other three kids. At this point, leaving the family behind is probably the hardest part. As you’ve written, nothing is as hard as that first surgery. I am so grateful for the support of you and the other families who have shared this journey. It’s amazing what blessings come from what could be pretty unbearable. God is so good in giving us all each other to hold each other up!

    On numerous occasions, Anya has asked Dr. Paley to let her stay awake through a surgery so she can watch. He always laughs and tells her, “No.” She has asked him details about what he does and he readily supplies the answers. It doesn’t seem to faze her that they use drills, chisels, hammers, etc. She thinks it’s really cool. She wants me to ask him if I can go in and video her next surgery. Crazy girl!

    Have a safe trip home. Lots of hugs to you and Nick!



    1. Thanks so much Gretchen!!! Anya is amazing. I think you are right that them loving their inpatient stays is a good thing : ) You have been an inspiration to me since the beginning of our journey and I do feel so blessed to to be held up by you and the other families. You are so right and it does seem crazy to me sometimes to feel so fortunate in all of this but I do.


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