“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”
That was the quote on my morning meditation today. It makes me think of how people see Nicholas. In the fixator he gets a lot of sympathetic stares and of course the bewildered looks. People that have met Nicholas without a fixator first see him very differently. They know he is an active boy who does what he wants. They know Fibular Hemimelia does not define him.
Looking at him today I could tell he was nervous. Thank goodness for tv to distract him! The fact that we do not have cable at home makes it a real treat when we’re here. Nicholas was up past Steven and I last night.
Now we wait. I am sure Dr.Standard is done or nearly done with his part of the surgery. I am praying that Nick wakes up comfortable. I promised him a wii game before he fell asleep in the OR. And pokemon cards. I would have said yes to anything in that moment. The only thing harder than seeing him like that is walking away.
Nick is the same gorgeous, happy, kind, sparkling boy he was seven years ago when I left him in the OR for his first surgery. I am so grateful for that. Life is very different now though. His leg is different. It is so long and straight! Our family life is also completely different. Now Nick has three siblings who he was already missing yesterday. Before we left Chris and Bess had fallen asleep as I was trying to get us all out the door. They had been up since 4am! It was a hard morning. At least until Nick walked in and saw the kids asleep and said “I just love them so much”.
Dr.Standard just came out! Nick’s done. He has two new pins but the foot part is gone!!! It went great. Now I will be on the edge of my seat till we can go to him. I love him so much.